Triple Tangent Thursday...ok, technically Friday.

So my friend Kelli started doing a weekly "Triple Tangent Tuesday" where she blogs about 3 random tangents every Tuesday. I'm going to follow in suit, but on Thursdays. Plus, it's late, and I can't fall asleep for about the 14th night in a row. Here goes.

1.  I saw something the other day while I was stuck in nasty Southern California rush-hour traffic at a dead stop that almost made me pee my pants. The guy in the car next to me had 2 parrots, one on each shoulder, and he was singing at the top of his lungs, presumably to the radio. (His windows were shut, so clearly I can't be sure) And, the parrots mouths were both moving too. Maybe they were singing right along with him. Either way, it 100% completely made my day. I literally could not stop laughing. Awesome.

2. I met someone through one of those horrible LDS dating websites. It hasn't turned into anything, but we've been talking every single day for the past week. He seems to be a super genuine, pretty mellow, pretty nice guy. But again, online dating? Yikes. That's a whole other story that I could write about my horror stories for pages and pages. 

3. I think I haven't been able to fall asleep almost every night since I decided to move to Utah. Not because I'm making the wrong choice, but because now that it's official, I have all of these other things to plan out, to figure out, and I'm clearly internally stressing over them. There are only so many things I have control over, and so all the things I can't control, I don't think about all day - then the second I lay down to go to sleep, my brain goes into Japanese high speed bullet train mode and won't stop no matter what I do, or what I take...don't worry, I'm not a druggy. But even tylenol pm, which usually knocks me out pretty fast, has done nothing for me. Apparently big changes take their toll on my body via my mind because I refuse to let them outwardly stress me out, so they get to me internally, causing me not to sleep, causing me to turn into a zombie. Wow. yeah, tangent right?

Ok, that's all for now. It's almost 1:00am, and I still can't fall asleep. I'm utterly exhausted, but my brain says no. Ggggggrrrrrr.

Blooming at BOLD BLOSSOMS!

Hello to my few and fellow readers...Bold Blossoms is finally in full bloom online. Go check it out. And below is the link for the first post at the new blog of Bold Blossoms. Share it. Shout it. Blog it. Tweet it. Post it. Let's sell some flowers folks! 

http://www.boldblossoms.com/2011/09/lorem-ipsum-dolor/

Thanks for all of your support. I couldn't do it without my family and friends backing me up. Choosing to quit my steady job and move back to Utah to break into the wedding flower biz is a scary decision, but I'm totally stoked about it. So thanks for encouraging me and giving me strength to pursue something I love deeply.

news flash

this is kind of huge.

i am moving back to utah. by the end of the year. probably end of october/early november.

i'm going to build my floral design biz. take pre-reqs for grad school. get back in shape and super sexy. hopefully find a man among the masses. change my life.

more to come later.

What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

The answer to that silly question has changed everyday my whole life, and continues to change. I don't think there will ever be one thing I want to do or be or profession I want to have forever. Except being happy.

Wait. Here's more juice on that. I have in fact always wanted one thing; to be a MOM. I never thought about growing up and having a career, or going on a mission, or going to graduate school. I just wanted to be a wife and mother and make and raise beautiful little rugrats. But, I continue to learn that life usually doesn't turn out quite the way we plan it to.


I never thought I'd be single at 26, working full-time (at a law firm no less), contemplating graduate school, wishing I went on at least one date every 6 months, and occassionally feeling like i'm staring into an endless black hole of not knowing what to do with my life, where to go, and how to figure it all out. That was never my life plan.

Don't worry, this isn't going to be a sob fest or self pity party (although I am pretty good at both of those things when I want to be).

My cousin is older than me just by 6 months, and is pregnant with baby #4. I read her blog nearly every day, and it's always full of family life, kids, crafts, cooking and more. She is the best Mom in the world. I definitely have days when I'm envious of her seemingly picture perfect life - but I'm positive she has her personal difficulties and dark moments like the rest of it... ;)


I'm getting to the point, I promise. As I was reading her blog today, and seeing her most recent pregnancy pictures (she's like 34 weeks or something I think), I had this moment of revelation and gratitude for where I AM AT, IN MY LIFE. Her life is the one she has made and is perfect for her, and mine is the one I have made - and I'm actually pretty darn proud of myself. There is no way in heaven or hades that I could have 4 kids right now...and I'm pretty sure God knows that. Someday yes, today, not quite. My life is my own, and is beautiful. I forget that sometimes.

I forget that I get to wake up every morning and look at the waves crashing on the beach. I forget that get to push myself and my mind every day as I go to work. I forget that I get to bring home the bacon which is actually a pretty cool feeling - knowing that I am a capable and competent enough person to take care of myself and use the mind and body and talents that God has given me, and develop other ones consantly to help me continue to do that as long as I need to. I forget that I have the freedom to pack up and take a last minute trip to Lake Powell if I want (which I am...leaving on Saturday for a week!!!) I forget that I can and am working on building my own business doing something that I love, and that I will be self-employed most of my life if I want to be. I forget that I have AMPLE opportunities to serve others every single day and make the world a better place. Basically, sometimes I just forget the absolutely insane beauty of my life and of who I am. That is a bad thing to forget - that you are God's child and that He loves you infinitely and perfectly, and that He is much more invested in and concerned with our happiness and well-being than anyone else ever could be.

So here's to remembering. I will work more diligently at remembering who I am and what I am worth to He who matters and cares and loves me the most. I will strive to remember every day and be more acutely aware of all of truly good and beautiful things and not let them get lost of buried in the minutia.

Finally, as a dear friend and mission companion frequently says, "I can do life, and so can you."