observations from life in upper harlem

hi folks, sorry I haven't blogged in a while - life has been a bit busy since I got to nyc and I am computer-less. yes, my computer died, as in the motherboard and power and everything pretty much blew up, after only 2.5 years of fairly trusty service. I have yet to find the will power and finances to purchase a new one that I really love. I think I honestly might just wait a couple months and save up and get a macbook finally. stupid pcs. if i spend over $600 on something, it should last more than 2 years, ya know? I mean, is that really too much to ask? Then again, buying a macbook would cost me the same as my first car cost me...but guess what, my first car that I bought for $1200 is still running. Yes, a 1994 mind you, and still going strong on the streets of Orem, even in blustery winter. I'm pretty sure there is a conspiracy in the computer industry to make sure everything breaks down IMMEDIATELY after your warranty runs out. The end.

But, this post is certainly not meant to be a ranting and venting session about my crappy HP computer blowing up. Sorry. Over it now... until I decide to go drop an entire paycheck on a new one, then I'll probably be bugged for another second or so.

anywho, this is really an update for my 3 faithful readers on life as of late, meaning, life in new york freaking city. that's right. for those of you just joining us tonight, I moved to the big apple last week - Harlem to be precise. I've had lots I want to write and remember, but I'll try and keep it simple with a list. I like lists. They keep me organized...and those of you who really know me, know that i'm slightly OCD, but my Dad would call me beyond OCD - I don't think I am, just compared to his "organized chaos." So here are some things so far about my experience in new york.

1. I work in midtown, about 10 blocks from grand central station. I live about 100 blocks north of work...in Harlem. My Mom worries about that. It didn't help when I jokingly told her that every subway stop as I head north toward home, more and more white people get off at every stop. I'm quite literally usually the only white person getting off at my stop (unless my roommate is with me, which rarely happens). I said it jokingly (even though it's 100% true), trying to make her laugh about it with me...think again Beth. I'm pretty sure it only made her worry more. Sorry Mom. I really do feel like the Lord protects me every single day though. I have never felt unsafe or uncomfortable yet. Not once. I hear police and ambulance sirens all the time from my work and my apartment, but not once when I have stepped outside have I heard them, or seen them, or felt worried in the slightest.

2. People are generally just good, whether you're living in Harlem or Orem, Utah. New Yorkers are known for being "hard" or "cold" and "unfriendly."  I've only been here a week, but I don't think that's really true at all. People are just people. I think here in NYC most of us are much like M&Ms, hard outer shell, melts fast once you get past that shell. On my mission I made it a habit of enjoying doing experiments with this too - if you smile at someone and make eye contact on the subway, or the street as you pass, 9 times out of 10 that person will smile back and even say hello.

3. I have been hit on more in the last week since living here than I have in the past like 10 years. Apparently, all the men in Harlem like a curvy white woman. Haha. Love it. Mostly, it just makes me feel good about myself.   :)

4. Even though I'm living with one of my best friends, the city really actually can be a very lonely place. Maybe some of you have experienced what I mean. It's easy to feel like you're jut buried in it all. One tiny rat in a giant maze of rats, both above and below ground, all of us like little rats running on and off every train and bus and taxi on this island called Manhattan. We're all just crammed into this cage, pushing through crowds, shuffling and racing around, avoiding eye contact, being shut out to the world, with our earphones in everywhere we go. It's easy to look up at the massive giants above you that disappear into the clouds and feel completely insignificant. It's easy to be in a such a place, to see others around you succeeding or struggling so desperately, and question the direction and purpose of your own life. To wonder if your goals are enough, or how you can be better at helping the rest of the 6 billion people on this planet who need a lot more than you do. Like I said, it's easy to feel lonely and insignificant in such a place as New York City.

5. Feet. Did you know that feet are the most commonly neglected part of the body? I've come down with mild planters fasciatis after only a week of walking the streets of new york, and my routine workouts every morning have gone out the window - both are terribly disappointing. My feet ached at the beginning of my mission as I adjusted to the change from being in the mtc for 10 weeks to walking 10 miles a day. However, this severe pain has been much different than the mission was, I literally feel like I'm walking on nails half the time, which is not a pleasant feeling. So today I found a great runner's store, they made me take off my shoes and walk around and move my feet in all sorts of different positions, then had me try on like 10 different pairs of shoes. The ones that were the absolute most comfortable and supportive, cost $200, so I said no thank you. So I went with the next most comfy, and got the guy to knock them down from $140 to $110, no taxes either. He was nice. I still hate paying that much for shoes (hello, am I my parents' daughter or what???) I was killing myself over it, but, I figure it's worth the investment since I don't have health insurance and I can't eve get new feet, so I'm might as well take care of them. If these sexy gray and yellow Nike's don't work out, maybe I'll have to go mission style and buy another pair of those awful, but comfy, "damn danskos" as we sisters used to call them.

6. Food. I'm honestly doing so much better at eating healthier. I'm down 10 pounds since Christmas, though my weightloss has slowed down since I haven't been doing my insanity workouts everyday. This is difficult though - food I mean. I'm in NYC, food heaven. There is a pizza joint every 3 stores with windows full of big slices of greasy, cheesy, delicious looking pizza that almost jumps out the window at me every time I walk by. Not to mention every kind of food imaginable from all over the world. It's a good thing I haven't made my way to little Italy yet...but I will let myself indulge at a few places over the next 5 weeks. I saw a picture on pinterest recently with a half eaten red velvet cupcake, and it said "life is short, you only live once, eat the damn red velvet cupcake." I agree. I may never live in new york city again, so I'm going to enjoy the food, but just not overdo it, and eat healthy breakfasts and lunches, then indulge every once in a while for dinner. On my list of places, Brezo 2 Lithuanian in Brooklyn - I haven't had Lithuanian food in ages. I'm stoked.

Finally, 7. Organized chaos. I don't think I've been here long enough at all to really decide if I could or would want to live here on a longer-term or more permanent basis. My gut feeling says no. I don't like feeling like a rat in a giant cage stuck in one of those little balls where you never really get anywhere, marching to the beat of the rhythms of a  never ending parade. Life just seems so rushed to me here though. Everyone always in a hurry to get where they're going. Life seems like it revolves around work, or living to work or working to live, depending on your situation - either way, neither of them fit for me, my lifestyle and what I want. I don't feel like I've had a second to really breath since I got here. The noise never stops. All day, all night. New York really is the city that never sleeps. We don't have any blinds in our apartment, and the street lights are too much, I have a hard time falling asleep most nights because of the light and the noise. Again, the constant rhythm of the city. The ground constantly rumbles with the rushing of trains in every direction. Sirens blaring all day and all night. Honking horns and pounding feet. The pipes in our top floor apartment constantly hissing and sometimes blaring out steamy tunes. At times it's almost soothing, other times I just want to be able to have some SILENCE. To be able to turn off all the noise and have some peace. I can't wait to go to the temple this week, smack in the middle of Manhattan and get away from it all, whilst being right in the thick of it at the same time.

Oh, one more...8. Ice skating in central park in the winter, followed by hot chocolate. Dream come true. Especially because one certain handsome man showed up that made the whole experience that much more glamorous and picture perfect. *sigh*  a girl can dream, right?

Ok, I feel like I've been writing forever and this post is super long. I'm pooped. I'm gonna g read myself to  sleep. Sorry this was so many words and no pictures. Like I said, I'm computer-less and have nowhere to upload my pictures too anyway.

Goodnight from the big apple.

expounding

ok so last night's post was written hastily. i was just so excited because my new adventure to NYC had just become official, so I had to write. let me expound for those of you wanting more details.

about a week ago i was joking with my bestie kristy, and said "kristy I should just come live with you in new york for a while." she said, "i think that's a great idea, I can even give you a job for 5 weeks." i thought she was joking...she was not.

so now i'm moving in with kristy and her sweet roomies from january 17- march 3. kristy's boss is going to be out of town for those 6 weeks and they need some extra help while he is gone. some extra help full time. 2 mormon girls taking over the lutheran church in nyc...huzzah! yes, she works at a beautiful lutheran church. i could literally pee my pants from excitement about the whole thing.

as for the job in utah, i'll be working for an entrepreneurial guy who runs one main company but is involved with a bunch of different ones - so I can't say i'm actually working just for one of them. but i'll be doing calendaring, bookkeeping, sales, research, phones, etc. etc. etc. salary. benefits. awesomeness. except it's in provo, but i'll survive. i'll be in living in draper or sandy probably. so commuting is not fun, but only 20-30 minutes from draper to provo, which is what i drove in california everyday, so i'm accustomed.

now on my list of things to do...

buy plane ticket to NYC. rad.
continue to work out everyday.
continue to eat green smoothies everyday.

make the ultimate list of things to do and see while in NYC. suggestions welcomed.

live in the joy.

2012 - The New Old Me

This is it. 2012 is the year I reclaim me, reclaim my life, reclaim control. 2011 Was a rough year, for me personally and for my family. Don’t get me wrong, it was pretty great, but also pretty tough. And surely 2012 will present its challenges, as that is the usual course of life, but mostly, it’s looking pretty darn fantastic.

This year I will take care of myself physically for the first time in years. I will get back in shape and be sexy. My boobs will get smaller. My muscles will get bigger and my fat will get smaller. I will eat better. I have posted old pictures of myself when I was skinnier and healthier all over to motivate me. And I might be posting a couple pics of motivating men that I’d love to date to keep me going too.

I’m moving to NYC in a couple weeks, for only 6 weeks for a temporary job. I’m going to live with one of my best friends, Kristy. We will work by day and party by night. Sleep is optional for those coming 6 weeks. I will experience as much of NYC as I can in those short 6 weeks. I will chase a handsome man who also happens to live in NYC, not that anything will happen, but I will make sure we definitely spend some time together.

Then I’ll come back to Utah and start my new job. Salaried job. Benefits. Awesome. And they’re gonna wait for me to get back from NYC. My new employer thought it was a great idea and that I should go and when will I be able to go do that ever again with such perfect timing? I agreed. I like him already, and I think I’m going to like working for him, even though it’s in Provo. Ugh. But still great.

Also, my girl Miriam who I’ll be moving in with in Utah once I get back from NYC, just found out that her old contract doesn’t end until the end of February…which we thought was actually end of January so we were going to get a place February 1^st…man does Heavenly Father make things work out or what? Miriam helped me remember this week that Satan wants us to be miserable. I think I had honestly forgotten that, or at least not consciously thought about it in a long time. He doesn’t want us to be happy. He doesn’t want things to work out for us. But the Lord does. And the Lord makes it happen. So cool. I love it.

Yeah, so, I have a bunch of other goals for the year, but I just wanted to give you a quick rundown and update cuz it’s been a while since I’ve blogged. Thanks for listening.

Happy New Year. May your 2012 be all you dream.