tonight I feel overwhelmed by my calling. i'm grateful for it. i'm grateful that my Heavenly Father trusts me enough to try and do what I can to help strengthen and rescue my sisters. but despite that, i still feel overwhelmed and inadequate. this is so much bigger than me, so much more needs to happen than I can ever personally accomplish. i feel the need to help our active sisters stay strong and to help them feel the fire, the passion, and the need to search out and bring those lost ones back to the fold. like i said, it's all so much bigger than me. and tonight I feel it, a lot. i feel like I don't even know where to begin.

i'm sorry that all i've written about lately is my calling - it's kind of consuming my life and my thoughts.

that's about it. i should go to sleep soon.

Family. The Sweetest Thing Ever.

So my family (well, half of them, and a half that I sure love!) flew into town last night. It has been nothing but wonderful since then. They came to visit me at my office today and we went and tried a new Thai food restaurant I've been drooling over, and it was deeeeliciousssoooo! To top it off, I got home from work around 6:45 and they had been working all day on cleaning our rental property - which I am moving into in the next month or so. I have been trying hard to even get to it, working on it a half hour here and there, but my life has gotten so hectic the past few weeks that I haven't even been able to make a dent on anything over there. Yeah, I got there, the place was amazing! My family blows my mind! They're on vacation, and they spent the entire day working and serving me by cleaning, repairing, sanding, and doing all the bazillion other things I've been needing to get to so this place gets move-in ready. I'm so blessed! I have the best family ever. I  mean, what 16 year old girl and 11 year old boy work ALL day along with their parents doing repetitive, dirty, hard manual labor just because? Studly.

I helped out for maybe 45  minutes before I had to run off to church for a meeting with the Bishop and other RSP, which lasted 2 & 1/2 hours. Then made it home at 11:30pm. Good thing I worked super hard today and got done what I needed to, so I don't even have to go into work tomorrow. Woohoo!

That's it. My family rocks. I'm exhausted, and going to sleep.

A Little Bit of David......

No, I'm not dating somebody named David. Or any man by any other name for that matter.

But today, when I got home from church around 5:15, I found David Archuleta's Christmas CD. And yesterday at the grocery store, along with a Thanksgiving turkey, I purchased one of those bags of cinnamon scented pine cones. I think I'm feeling the holiday itch. So now, I'm scarfing some leftover Maggiano's italian food, listening to some Christmas music, and about to make peanut blossom cookies - ya know, the kind with the hershey's kiss in the middle.

I'm normally against listening to Christmas music before Thanksgiving, but given the fact that I have no snow, no change of season, no family around, nothing....I feel ok about listening to it today. Why not enjoy the season, and be grateful and celebrate the life of our Savior more than just a month? And Christmas music does just that for me! It makes me celebrate deep inside my soul the birth, life, atonement and resurrection of my Savior Jesus Christ. It makes my heart want to burst with joy! Who doesn't want a little more of that joy? And I needed it today.

I apologize for not posting much lately, but life has just gotten a bit crazy. Being the new "RSP" has it's ups and downs for sure. Today was a fantastic Sunday, but exhausting at the same time. There is SO much to figure out, and to be aware of, so many people with such great needs. I had quite the mix of emotions as I sat through ward council this morning, listening to and participating in the work of the Lord with so many fantastic people. I had this secret little moment of jealousy thinking, man if this was how it worked on my mission we'd have gotten sooo much more done! Haha. But seriously, the power and peace and responsibility that I felt as I sat in that office with 15 incredibly dedicated, faithful, compassionate, loving, Christlike people, who truly care about their brothers and sisters over whom they have stewardship was such a privilege. It was inspiring. 

I also was able to reflect simply on how blessed I truly am, how lucky I am to be exactly where I'm at in my life right now. I'm so grateful for the gospel, for both the inner and outer peace it brings to the chaos that is life. I've really felt that since being set apart - sincere gratitude that my life is good, in every aspect. The Lord has and continues to richly bless me. For what reasons, I can't say. I don't feel that I deserve all the awesomeness that is my life, but I'm grateful for it - and want to strive to work to deserve all the blessings He pours down on me.

So tonight, a little bit of David Archuleta, singing about the Savior, from the line of David, is just what I need to enjoy my Sunday of blissful blessings.

Sluffing Institute Tonight

Did anyone else ever use the term "sluffing" in high school? Meaning, ditching class? Well, tonight, right now, I'm sluffing institute. Shame. On. Me. What kind of Relief Society President am I being? It's too early for me to be slacking off already...too bad.   ;)

It's sort of been a long day. I'm hormonal and cranky, which is never good. Also super tired. I didn't get home from church until 11:15pm last night. I've been feeling super overwhelmed in general the past while. And today at work, all day, I just felt like - blah. I'm a mess. I just got this huge calling that consumes my thoughts for a good chunk of the day and night, and I have no clue what I'm supposed to do. And just 4 weeks earlier I started a new full-time job, in which I have SO MUCH to learn, and definitely haven't gotten my footing yet. And pile it all together today - pms, stressful work, overwhelming calling, major lack of sleep, and my Daddy flew back to Utah today.....it was a recipe for what I now am. A puddle of mush sitting on my couch, achy muscles, tired eyes, tired brain, tired spirit, and sluffing institute.


I'll feel better tomorrow though. A hot shower, good night's rest, a little prayer, and I'll be a new woman.

Sweet dreams. Saldziu sapnu. Saldas sapnas. Spoky Noky.

Strength

Sorry I haven't posted in over a week. The past week has been pretty busy. I came across this fantastic thought this week, and wanted to share it, because it encompasses a lot of my feelings regarding what's been on my mind. 

‎"A strong woman knows she has strength enough for the journey, but a woman of strength knows it is in the journey where she will become strong."

Last Sunday I was called to be one of the new Relief Society Presidents in my ward, and sustained and set apart today. They decided to split the sisters by age, into 2 Relief Societies. So I am over the 18-25 year olds, which stresses me out much less than 200+ girls. I've been kind of a basket case all week, not in a bad way - just feeling totally inadequate, overwhelmed, and just plain sorta shocked. 


When the Bishop sat me down last week to call me, I felt like I had been totally blindsided. I literally had no idea it was coming. It was a rough week to say the least, I just couldn't focus. The weight of this calling and the responsibilities attached to it were felt immediately. 


There has been so much I've wanted to write about this week, the things I've been feeling, the thoughts in my head. But I couldn't post anything until after I'd been sustained in church. Now I'm just tired and don't have much to say right now. I sorta just wanna get to bed. Maybe you could all pray for me though? That would be much appreciated. Thanks for all your love and support.