bold blossoms

check out the new floral design blog at:

boldblossoms.blogspot.com

and in case you haven't hopped on over yet, check out the site at:

boldblossoms.com

Thanks friends!

loved loved loved the insanity of this past weekend

a quick post, but if I don't do it now, Monday will come and then Friday will be gone before I know it, and I won't ever write about it. i have a feeling this might turn into a much more personal post than I planned 30 seconds ago, but it might just all spill out as I continue typing.

the rundown:
Thursday 12pm, leave for Utah.
Thursday 11:30pm, arrive in Orem.

Friday 8am, go to red mountain wholesaler. get new biz account set up. order flowers for emily & micah's wedding. Attempt to get Utah driver's license...get screwed by the DMV as always and waste 2 hours of my life.

Friday 12pm, drive to American Fork, pick up Zupas lunch for me and Mom. Go to Mom's middle school in Saratoga Springs, Utah and have the best mommie-daughter lunch date with her awkward fellow teachers. I really admire my Mom for finishing school and sticking through student teaching even though she doesn't want to be a full-time teacher. she's one of my greatest heroes.

Friday 4pm, leave with the family to the BYU game and tailgate party. hottest day ever. i was totally dehydrated the whole time I was in Utah, and I was literally retaining water. My fingers were super swollen and I felt bloated all weekend, and just kept drinking and drinking so much water.

Friday 6-8pm, feel terribly embarrassed for BYU's football team. What sport were they playing? I left at half time to walk to my mission reunion at the wilk.

Friday 8pm, attend mission reunion and feel super lame and awkward and old. nobody from my time was there, except the Watterson's of course, which is really why I wanted to go in the first place. I sure miss Nila Watterson in my regular life. I need to make it a habit of emailing and calling her much more regularly. My life is so much richer and so blessed because she, and her husband, are a part of it.

Friday 10pm, snuggle time with my siblings on the giant bed with a movie. perfection. bliss. love it. totally all fell asleep during the first half of the movie.

Saturday 10am, watch general conference.

Saturday 12pm, drive to AF for lunch with my bestie Laura. again, bliss. love her. miss her. love her. can't wait to live back in utah and be able to spend time with her. she is literally one of those people that we were instantaneously friends, and God put her directly in my life for so many reasons. what an incredible person and friend. i love her so much.

Saturday 2pm, watch general conference.

Saturday 4pm, try to sell my neighbors my wedding event floral services, unsuccessfully so far. i'll still snag it though, you just watch me. Complete Orem City biz license application and tax forms.

Saturday 5:30pm, fix Diane's computer and head to dinner with the girls...me, mom, diane and jacookie monster. eat ourselves silly at carabbas. amazingly delicious, but I totally should've thought about the fact that I had a date after priesthood session which would be involving food. shopping with the girls. attack at bath and body works, but smelt so good.

Saturday 8:30pm, almost chicken out and not even get in my car to drive to thanksgiving point for a date with a boy that I met online...yes...online. some lds dating website. uber awkward right? i guess desperate times call for desperate measures. we'd been talking everyday for 2 weeks. he lives in slc, so we decided since I was in town, we should meet. i went with little to no expectations, but was still uncommonly nervous, and I don't know why. i think i was nervous, because in talking for 2 weeks, I actually really liked this guy so far, and maybe I didn't want to blow it, or I didn't want to be disappointed or a million other things running through my head. but man am I so happy I went. that I didn't bail out on the opportunity. this guy is incredible and we had an amazing time. this deserves a complete post of it's own, which maybe will come soon, because I know that's all you really want is more details on this portion. patience my dears, patience. incredible. which makes me all the more nervous about the whole thing.

Sunday 1:30am, finally go to sleep.

Sunday 8:00am, snuggle and pillow talk time when Mom and Josh crawled into bed with me wanting to hear about my date. so awesome. i love love love love love love love my family so much. there just aren't words. Make yummy pancakes, bacon and hashbrowns for breakfast. yum.

Sunday 10am, watch general conference, try to stay awake. I shouldn't have been out so late with a great man last night. hehehehe.

Sunday 1:30pm, leave for California with my friend Lindsey. drive. drive. drive. and drive some more. longest day of driving ever. it felt like we drove for 3 days straight, when in reality, it was only like 10.5 hours.

Sunday 10:30pm, arrive home in San Clemente. Talk on the phone to the wonderful man mentioned earlier for 40 minutes.

Sunday 11:45pm, blogging about the crazy weekend when all i should be doing is going to bed.

Ok, so I actually ended up leaving out the juicy personal details. maybe I'm not ready to share it all yet. but it was an awesome whirlwind of a weekend. i'm beyond exhausted and going to sleep. more to come soon, hopefully.  :)

Goodnight.

Triple Tangent Thursday...ok, technically Friday.

So my friend Kelli started doing a weekly "Triple Tangent Tuesday" where she blogs about 3 random tangents every Tuesday. I'm going to follow in suit, but on Thursdays. Plus, it's late, and I can't fall asleep for about the 14th night in a row. Here goes.

1.  I saw something the other day while I was stuck in nasty Southern California rush-hour traffic at a dead stop that almost made me pee my pants. The guy in the car next to me had 2 parrots, one on each shoulder, and he was singing at the top of his lungs, presumably to the radio. (His windows were shut, so clearly I can't be sure) And, the parrots mouths were both moving too. Maybe they were singing right along with him. Either way, it 100% completely made my day. I literally could not stop laughing. Awesome.

2. I met someone through one of those horrible LDS dating websites. It hasn't turned into anything, but we've been talking every single day for the past week. He seems to be a super genuine, pretty mellow, pretty nice guy. But again, online dating? Yikes. That's a whole other story that I could write about my horror stories for pages and pages. 

3. I think I haven't been able to fall asleep almost every night since I decided to move to Utah. Not because I'm making the wrong choice, but because now that it's official, I have all of these other things to plan out, to figure out, and I'm clearly internally stressing over them. There are only so many things I have control over, and so all the things I can't control, I don't think about all day - then the second I lay down to go to sleep, my brain goes into Japanese high speed bullet train mode and won't stop no matter what I do, or what I take...don't worry, I'm not a druggy. But even tylenol pm, which usually knocks me out pretty fast, has done nothing for me. Apparently big changes take their toll on my body via my mind because I refuse to let them outwardly stress me out, so they get to me internally, causing me not to sleep, causing me to turn into a zombie. Wow. yeah, tangent right?

Ok, that's all for now. It's almost 1:00am, and I still can't fall asleep. I'm utterly exhausted, but my brain says no. Ggggggrrrrrr.

Blooming at BOLD BLOSSOMS!

Hello to my few and fellow readers...Bold Blossoms is finally in full bloom online. Go check it out. And below is the link for the first post at the new blog of Bold Blossoms. Share it. Shout it. Blog it. Tweet it. Post it. Let's sell some flowers folks! 

http://www.boldblossoms.com/2011/09/lorem-ipsum-dolor/

Thanks for all of your support. I couldn't do it without my family and friends backing me up. Choosing to quit my steady job and move back to Utah to break into the wedding flower biz is a scary decision, but I'm totally stoked about it. So thanks for encouraging me and giving me strength to pursue something I love deeply.

news flash

this is kind of huge.

i am moving back to utah. by the end of the year. probably end of october/early november.

i'm going to build my floral design biz. take pre-reqs for grad school. get back in shape and super sexy. hopefully find a man among the masses. change my life.

more to come later.

What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

The answer to that silly question has changed everyday my whole life, and continues to change. I don't think there will ever be one thing I want to do or be or profession I want to have forever. Except being happy.

Wait. Here's more juice on that. I have in fact always wanted one thing; to be a MOM. I never thought about growing up and having a career, or going on a mission, or going to graduate school. I just wanted to be a wife and mother and make and raise beautiful little rugrats. But, I continue to learn that life usually doesn't turn out quite the way we plan it to.


I never thought I'd be single at 26, working full-time (at a law firm no less), contemplating graduate school, wishing I went on at least one date every 6 months, and occassionally feeling like i'm staring into an endless black hole of not knowing what to do with my life, where to go, and how to figure it all out. That was never my life plan.

Don't worry, this isn't going to be a sob fest or self pity party (although I am pretty good at both of those things when I want to be).

My cousin is older than me just by 6 months, and is pregnant with baby #4. I read her blog nearly every day, and it's always full of family life, kids, crafts, cooking and more. She is the best Mom in the world. I definitely have days when I'm envious of her seemingly picture perfect life - but I'm positive she has her personal difficulties and dark moments like the rest of it... ;)


I'm getting to the point, I promise. As I was reading her blog today, and seeing her most recent pregnancy pictures (she's like 34 weeks or something I think), I had this moment of revelation and gratitude for where I AM AT, IN MY LIFE. Her life is the one she has made and is perfect for her, and mine is the one I have made - and I'm actually pretty darn proud of myself. There is no way in heaven or hades that I could have 4 kids right now...and I'm pretty sure God knows that. Someday yes, today, not quite. My life is my own, and is beautiful. I forget that sometimes.

I forget that I get to wake up every morning and look at the waves crashing on the beach. I forget that get to push myself and my mind every day as I go to work. I forget that I get to bring home the bacon which is actually a pretty cool feeling - knowing that I am a capable and competent enough person to take care of myself and use the mind and body and talents that God has given me, and develop other ones consantly to help me continue to do that as long as I need to. I forget that I have the freedom to pack up and take a last minute trip to Lake Powell if I want (which I am...leaving on Saturday for a week!!!) I forget that I can and am working on building my own business doing something that I love, and that I will be self-employed most of my life if I want to be. I forget that I have AMPLE opportunities to serve others every single day and make the world a better place. Basically, sometimes I just forget the absolutely insane beauty of my life and of who I am. That is a bad thing to forget - that you are God's child and that He loves you infinitely and perfectly, and that He is much more invested in and concerned with our happiness and well-being than anyone else ever could be.

So here's to remembering. I will work more diligently at remembering who I am and what I am worth to He who matters and cares and loves me the most. I will strive to remember every day and be more acutely aware of all of truly good and beautiful things and not let them get lost of buried in the minutia.

Finally, as a dear friend and mission companion frequently says, "I can do life, and so can you."

beautiful peace.

I haven't felt much like writing lately...actually, that's a lie. I've had tons to write about, and want to write about, but have just been plain too lazy to do it.

 

But today, today something more than worth writing about happened, and so write I must.

 

For those of you who have been thru the temple, and taken out your endowment, there is nothing sweeter than being there with a dearest friend or family member as they participate in their own ordinances. Today I was blessed with that experience. A dear friend of mine out here in California, actually the very first real friend I made when I moved here, went through the temple to receive his own endowment. He had been inactive most of his life, and we met our very first Sunday together at church. My first Sunday in the ward, and also his first Sunday back in church in years. We immediately became close.

 

We spent many nights, talking late into the night about life, the gospel, the atonement, forgiveness, recognizing the spirit, and just working through it all. Going to institute. Eating greasy but the most delicious fried zuccini from A's burgers. Watching the waves crash on the shore. Just knowing the another human being cares and understands in some small way your life. He lifted me when I was struggling in a new place, and I hope I was able to lift him even minimally as he made his trek back toward the Savior.

 

Watching him walk into the beautiful celestial room at the San Diego temple. There. Aren't. Words. Tears. Love. Celestial, eternal, family love. INCREDIBLE.

 

That's all I have to say about it. Because really, no words can describe what my heart felt in that moment. Even though he walked in to his fiancee and family first and foremost, I got to be a small part of it. And i'm so ecstatic.