That last post about the recent changes in my life really deserved a lot more attention and details, but I didn't have the time nor the appropriate Internet access. It's too hard to blog from my phone, and I STILL don't have access at my apartment....I hate you AT&T. Boo!
I'm coming to Utah this weekend to join the saints of Zion...jk. Ok not really joking, I'm coming. But I'll sit in my PJ's all weekend and watch conference at home on my parent's bed or big blue canoodling couch, with breakfast on my lap (either Mom's yummy waffles drowning in ooey-gooey maple syrup or Ernie's breakfast sandwich). Yum.
I'll head on over to my mission reunion Friday night and remember those oh so distant, incredible times back in the Baltics. What a sweet treat. i'm even going to go home and look at my mission scrapbook and journal tonight. Sometimes I forget what a miracle that was every single day. I can't believe the things I really did through God's power. Freaking amazing.
Mostly, I'm just stoked to see my family though. I've been sort of homesick for my family lately. I don't get like that very often. It's even more weird though because my brother and sis-in-law just moved to California a block away from me, and I've only really been homesick since they moved here. Is that weird or what? Anywho, it will just be a nice break from the insanity that I call my life.
PS, I'm really lonely. And I've been feeling it a lot lately. I'm surrounded by people all the time. I work to serve others all day every day, but I'm still so lonely. There are a lot of days when I really feel like my life doesn't matter to anybody, not another single human being. Then, somehow, Heavenly Father reminds me that He loves me, and it doesn't really matter too much if I feel like nobody else does. His love sustains me, especially in the deepest darkest times of loneliness. I know it will change, but lately, it's been aching. Significantly.
That's all. Oh, and I have a sinus infection. The first one since I moved to California though. Last winter in Utah I had 5 sinus infections. Gross. I forgot how awful that is. I haven't been able to breath, smell, taste, sleep, think or even remotely focus for the past 2 days.
Sorry, I sound like I'm complaining. I'm not, just stating what's happening in my life right now. On an ending positive note - it's totally gorgeous and sunny outside, 62 degrees, and it's quitting time. Home I go for dinner, sudafed, antibiotics and sleep.
See you soon!
Hi Beth!
ReplyDeleteI got a little teary-eyed by your paragraph about the Baltics. Seriously, a miracle every day. I have been thinking a lot about my mission recently and I am so incredibly blessed to have had and taken the opportunity. I know we never served together, but there is no way you can serve in the Baltics and not feel close to others who did... especially sisters. I SO know what your mission was like. I know the streets. I know the people. I know their blunt nature. I know their love. I know. And it was wonderful.
The loneliness. Yeah, gotcha on that. I got your comment. Seems we really get each other. But the prevailing spirit is one of an unending love from Heavenly Father. Dontcha think? I mean, I know it sounds all "woe is me"-ish to say you're lonely, but it's just being honest. Ir viskas bus gerai. Tikrai, it will. As tai zinau, ir tu zinai. Bet, that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt kartais, like labai.
I'm not going to be at the mission reunion. No one from my era seems to go anymore. Plus, I have a date with Blind Date. :) And that's a pretty exciting alternative.
Myliu tave, mano drauge.
btw, I love your blog's current title. Makes me sing the song every time.
ReplyDeleteYay you're coming home this weekend! That will be so nice to see your family too.
ReplyDeleteI am jealous of the weather down there. It is still freezing in Utah!